On this lovely day, I'd like to wish all of my fans and friends a happy VD (Valentine's day, silly). As a goat, and a wether at that, I don't get much romance in my life. Oh, the wench loves me, but inter-species respect being what it is, she's ok and I'm ok, but the most personal I ever get is snapping her straps when she sits in the doorway to the pasture just reflecting on the flock. Who I feel sorry for, though, is NIGEL, our jacob wether.
Just the other day, I found this note in my stall:
Dear Frankie, I hope you can help me. I am SO in love with Daisy and she won't give me the time of day. Oh, she's affectionate when it comes to sharing our grain and living in the same stall and all that, but I'd like to take our relationship to the next level and maybe make some little sheep... she doesn't seem interested and I don't know what to do. Can you help me? Sincerely, Nigel
Oh, the work of the spokesgoat is never easy. I had to break it to him so I called the wench and dictated the following response: (wench used to be a secretary and can actually take dictation, but she uses literary license quite frequently which used to drive the old boss crazy..... now that she works for me, it's ok because sometimes I get grammatically confused you know ,being a goat and all)
Dear Nigel - GET OVER IT you are a wether. You don't have the equipment necessary to make little sheep! We only have one baby maker at a time on this farm, and you ain't it. Try to be content growing your fleece and giving it up once a year to blend with the mohair and angora. That's your job. You might consider meditation classes which I conduct each afternoon in the pasture. Cud chewing also helps. Your mentor, Frankie
So, as you can see, I give no nonsense advice to the lovelorn. If you have a problem that you think I can help you with, please feel free to email or reply to this post, or, post on the Mountain Top Fibers facebook page and I'll try to straighten you out. Because, after all, I'm Frankie and I'm awesome.